#HHL09 Handheld learning conference October 5th-7th 2009

I have put October the 5th to the 7th in title, I suppose in the vain hope that something inspires me this afternoon to actually stay until tomorrow.
On our arrival yesterday, after an early Monday morning start catching the train down to muggy and wet London, we arrived at the Barbican conference centre, and, like all delegates, our focus was on the tea coffee and biscuits that would be on offer....or would they...? Yes is the answer, but at £2.50 a cup!
With no complimentary catering for those of us that were planning on the endurance test that is the 3 days of 2009s Handheld conference...we headed out.
So, refreshed from our visit to Starbucks (If we had to pay we would at least make sure it was a half decent cup of coffee, not the over-stewed luke warm brew on offer).

The seminars, events, showcases and 'breakouts' lay before us...
We had missed Victoria Owen from LJM Uni, which I had hoped to catch, in case there was potential for cross-over work. The 'menu' for the next 4 hours was product placement...'Hi, we have a great product, are you a budget holder?' ...'No'...'well we are not really very interested in talking to you then'. Mmmmmmmmm!!

I didn't get to see all the 'real people' from real classrooms, but those I did catch were a few steps ahead of projects I had been involved in 5 years earlier.There were small children around, however I didn't see them do more than play on the nintendo stall, and who can blame them!

Handheld Technology 2009 awards ceremony for creativity and innovation

Even though the day hadn't gone as well we would have expected, we decided to make the effort and go to the awards in the hope we would see some excellent practice that had been rewarded, and, we could then see the level and set the bar for ourselves and where we need to go for the next year.

The evening started at 19:00 - drinks and bar snacks and a live jazz bank. 3 orange juices later and half a bowl of olives, the same jazz rift later (around 20:30) yes one and a half hours later, the awards still hadn't started, I think they were hoping for a sudden influx of people to fill up the half empty (or half full if I am to say something positive) hall.
We gave up at that point as there seemed no sign of an awards ceremony starting.

Tuesday

Free tea and coffee to start, Hoorah!!
Graham Brown-Martin indulged us in a story about his handheld girl i.e. his 4 year old, we then sat through a home video of a 4 year old playing with Dad's old iPhone - okay, I can indulge any parent their devotion to their child. Graham went on to say that industry bulletins would then be announced by various people...from industry....selling their product...Mmmmmmm.....
I was looking forward to Zenna Atkins as I was, and so were many others, (she had been tagged as the chair of Ofsted),expecting a discussion around, handheld, safeguarding, e-safety, innovative use in the curriculum - what I had paid £375.00 + £120.00 Train fare + £280.00 hotel + £80.00 food expenses for (or LIVERPOOL CITY COUNCIL had on behalf of taxpayers)
What I got was a Tory who clearly was socialist-phobic, discussing the 'Threat' of mobile phones in the classroom and then described an incident where her year 8 son had videoed a teacher with his feet up on the desk reading the paper whilst the classroom was a circus. Her reaction - Phone the school and use her position to get a senior teacher to go and check on the class - to her surprise, the teacher confiscated the phone!! (I think at this point she was the only one that was surprised)
We then had to listen to tales of her young wayward son playing truant, her, herself being thrown out of school and proudly declaring the only qualification she had is a grade B in Biology O'Level. It had been sheer hard work and determination that had got her to where she was today; Chair of Ofsted, CEO of this company, Executive member of something to do with the MoD and the list went on.
So I took away from that, she believed, teachers were to become superfluous, as were school and classroom environments and our children would learn in their own way at their own pace using technologies not invented yet...well that would be all very well for those children that had the correct environment to work in, a supportive family, excellent social skills, access to the technology and the funding that would require...Every Child Matters? Chair of Ofsted? Yes I'm worried.

But not nearly as much as I was after Graham introduced an old friend that would be the Keynote speaker...
If you don't know who it was, I would like you to try and imagine who you think it should be....
Cutting edge technology conference, Handheld Learning, Innovation in the classroom, radically looking how we need to deliver a 21st century curriculum....any ideas?

Malcolm McLaren...we sat through the dodgiest keynote speech I have ever had the misfortune to listen too. MM talked about his life, from war baby to wine tester, to the Sex Pistols, to why kids should take drugs....teaching and learning you say?? naaaah! none of that nonsense....Using technology in the classroom/school/community you ask?? naaaaah! none of that nonsense, sex drugs and rock n roll...?? never mind the B****cks...what a load of B****cks!
We didn't stay for session 2, or lunch, I'm back in my Citadine apart-hotel typing this up....and it's the most stimulated I've been for 2 days....could I have done this back in Liverpool??? NO!! I could have done some REAL work on our handheld project.